Authenticity in a Mixed World

In a multicultural country where we have so many different races mingling around, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what 'authenticity' is as a whole. As individuals (Chinese, Malays, Indiants etc.), we know what our individual culture is like. I know the difference between Chinese, Malay, and Indian weddings. I know the different cuisines, the different ways to greet each other, even the different body language. But I am Malaysian first and foremost. Yes, I'm Chinese and I grew up with Chinese values, but I spent my entire life in a country which has a culture made of other cultures.

I think one of my problems writing about Malaysian culture is that it is a mix of cultures. When I write about Malaysian culture, I find that I have to explain most of the aspects. For example, we have our Malaysian slang, the most popular one being ending a sentence with lah.  It can be said that it originated from the Chinese word used as a final particle - 啦, but it's used by all of the races in Malaysia. We are so mixed that most of us are known to use three different languages in a single sentence! I could go, "eh, do you wanna makan at the chapfan place nearby?" That was a mixture of English, Malay (makan = eat), and Cantonese (chapfan = mixed rice). It's almost like a secret code between Malaysians, but I write not just for Malaysians, I want to write for a bigger audience, and that would be a big problem seeing that I would have to explain every word. 

Growing up, I learned British English and consumed American media. I attended creative writing lessons taught by British and had a German as my high school teacher. I believe that somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my own culture and conformed to 'proper English'. I was taught how to use grammar, how to phrase my thoughts in a certain way, how to fill in the blanks with the correct words. Pretty soon, all my stories were set in the West where I have never been. My characters were blondes, brunettes, blue eyed, tall, freckled. I sat in a classroom full Asians and not one of us showed up in my words.

I wasn't ashamed of my own culture, I was just conditioned to believe that stories set in the West were more interesting. Although I lacked experience, I consumed enough Western media to be able to write about them. Was it authentic considering that I truly believed in what I was writing? If you had asked me at that time, I would have said yes. But thinking about it now, probably not. I realised I was imitating. I read and took in all the information and tried to mimic them because they were the successful ones.

Cultural authenticity is a hard one to define and an even tougher one to own. But I believe that the most important type of authenticity is being authentic to yourself. I can mix Western and Asian culture in one, I can take bits and pieces of what I have experienced, read and heard and muddle them up into my own special concoction. And that is authenticity in my eyes.